How to Address your State, Gov. Rauner Style

Serious

  1. First, try and smile when you have a hostile audience. Do not pause often for thunderclaps that will not happen.
  2. Secondly, keep an extremely serious tone throughout the address, even though you know that you will not factually mention change; just spin the important issues that you will not resolve.
  3. Talk in a homey type of speech by droppi’ the ‘g’s on all ‘ing’ words. This will ensure easy acceptance for uneasy information. The crowd will love this homegrown approach!
  4. Mention as many priority buzzwords like “good education,” “mental health,” “community health,” “criminal restoration,” and “good jobs.”
  5. NEVER, EVER even imply any state responsibility for any of the priority initiatives.
  6. Tell the legislators to pass your bills instead of askin’ them. This is very important to stay in total control of the law writin’ process.
  7. Slam the unions in any way possible, even namin’ names like AFSCME to blame the state’s fundin’ inadequacies on them. Name names of offensive unions. Be sure and use statistics to support the idea that mighty, greedy unions break the budget. Do not mention how you will not sit down with the “AFSCME” union to negotiate a fair contract. Take a snipe at teachers’ unions without mentionin’ their names because they are not in your jurisdiction!
  8. Do not address the closin’ of the state colleges and universities, closin’s of community health centers or any of the state’s accumulated faux pas presently in play. Do not address how the state will pay back the community for services already rendered.
  9. NEVER admit blame!
  10. Only propose revenue raisin’ in terms of income taxes. Show how you think that graduated income taxes are a good idea of yours.
  11. Ignore the underwhelmin’ response by your audience. They will learn, in time.
  12. Get off the stage as quickly as possible.
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About Kathy Powers
Advocacy is my therapy. Chicago, IL

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